I think so often as moms, we all have a lot to deal with. We hit the ground running every morning and don’t stop until the kids are in bed. Even then, we still have a list of to do's so long that even the most ambitious of overachievers would be overwhelmed. Then, we wake up the next day to repeat the entire process without missing a beat. No sick days (but we do get sick), no lunch breaks, and we most certainly can’t go to the bathroom without someone trying to beat down the door because they can’t live one moment without us. We are moms. A high calling. An overwhelming job...a great job.
I once had a friend ask me how I “did it.” She also has two small children and somewhere along the way I had given her the impression that I had it all together. Shame on me! I quickly explained to her that I actually end most days feeling as though I could have accomplished more and a few days like I have completely and utterly failed. But, there are those women out there that make it all seem so easy. The Stepford Wife. I am extremely jealous of that, and then I have to remind myself that it is probably all just a facade. So, as a shout out to all the other moms out there struggling to make it through until Friday without screaming into a pillow, here are my “mommy flaws.”
*I used to have a clean house…until I had 2 kids. Now, I look around at the end of the day and think about what truly NEEDS to be done. My house is often messy.
*I am a stay at home mom but I don’t love every second of it. Being a SAHM is a great privilege that I do not take for granted. But, I would be lying if I said I love every second of every day. Don't get me wrong, there are many things I love, but there are also things I struggle with a great deal.
*Sometimes, I feel like I have failed my kids entirely. Am I too much of a pushover, am I too strict, do I pick the wrong battles, do I pray for my kids enough, have I crushed their spirit, am I a complete failure?
*I have said some mean things to my kids that I have had to humbly apologize for. I think this is where I have really felt broken as a mom. In those moments when I have said something so harsh that I instantly regret it. I see the look on their faces; I crumble and beg for forgiveness.
*Sometimes, I put my own needs before my kids’ wants. Sometimes, I just need a moment to gather myself so I can be a better mom. I feel guilty doing this but realize it makes me a better mom if I have some “me time.”
*My kids watch TV. Not an insane amount, but if I need to get a meal ready and they are under my feet (screaming, whining, fighting with one another), I will most definitely turn the TV on. I also turn it on first thing in the morning so I can allow myself some time to wake up. I think it gives them a chance to wake up too.
*Some days, I get really cranky, really fast. And even if they aren’t being that frustrating, I am already frustrated. I need to work on that.
*I am not always consistent with discipline. To be honest, sometimes, I am just too exhausted to care.
*On many occasions I have been the woman in the grocery store with two screaming kids in the cart just trying to get through my list before the world explodes.
What I think is so important, as mothers, is that we give ourselves some grace and don't compare our talents to those of other moms. We all have different abilities in life and in motherhood. Take note of the things you know you are doing well as a mother, even if some days it feels like nothing. I have made a habit of telling my husband the good things that happened during the day just as a reminder to myself that it wasn't all a disaster.
Remember that June Cleaver is most certainly a fictional character and, honestly, totally boring!
Written by Jennifer Bentch, mother of 2, and MOPS mom.
